The Child We Lost

She pouts looking upset and I want nothing more than to kiss her better and say 'All right then yes. Perhaps he can come back perhaps he will perhaps he has!' But I can’t. know I can’t lie to her about this... The day we lost Josh a part of me broke. He was only three-and-a-half years old. His twin Ruby suddenly an only child. We thought we were doing as well as expected. But when Ruby comes to me and says she saw Josh - alive - I assume she’s struggling more than we realised. It’s her way of holding on. Of refusing to let go. But then I see him too. A boy with Josh’s same pale blue eyes the silvery-white hair that falls across his forehead in exactly the same way. It’s more than a similarity. This boy could be Josh’s twin. How can that be possible? I know I have to listen to my rational brain that this must be my grief messing with my mind. But I can’t let go of the feeling that something is going on. Who is this boy? And does someone know more than they’re letting on?